Custody battles can be tough, especially when you feel your relationship with your child start to change. Maybe you went to pick them up from their other parent’s house and they refused to get in the car, or they started telling you they hate you and want you to give up custody. These words can be jarring coming from the mouth of your beloved little one. However, these actions are a sign of parental alienation. Parental alienation is a severely damaging tactic, and it is important that you know how to handle it if it is being used against you. Speak with an Oakland County family lawyer to discuss your situation and acquire skilled legal advice during your custody case.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation is the meticulous process of distancing a child from their other parent. The parent implementing this technique will manipulate the child into believing lies about their other parent until they become estranged and unwilling to have a relationship with them.

The offending parent may tell the child that their other parent doesn’t love them, that they are abusive, or that they don’t want to see them anymore. They concoct a plethora of lies to confuse and upset the child, then comfort them by telling them that they will always love them, never hurt them, and never leave them. Depending on the child’s age this can be extremely confusing and overwhelming. The child is generally inclined to believe the parent they are with, especially if they have limited contact with their other parent and no evidence to contradict what they are hearing.

How Should I Handle Parental Alienation?

If you notice changes in your child’s behavior and believe that parental alienation is being used against you, it is crucial that you take the necessary steps to resolve the issue. Consider the following.

  1. Document everything: If you are going to put an end to this alienation you need evidence. Document all relevant incidents including the things your child says or does, dates and times, if your child’s other parent refuses to let you see them, etc.
  2. Consult with an attorney: Talk to your lawyer about your suspicions. Present them with the evidence you have collected and ask them about your options and rights.
  3. Talk to your child: In the meantime, offer support and love to your child. Emphasize the fact that you love them and will always do what you believe is in their best interest. Keep in mind that they may not respond kindly.
  4. Present your evidence: With the help of your attorney, present your evidence of parental alienation to the court. If it is substantial enough, the judge may consider changing the parenting schedule and adjusting it to allow you more time with your child.
  5. Offer support: Once the parental alienation has been identified, you will likely have to put in effort to reverse the effects of the manipulation. Both you and your child should attend counseling or therapy together and separately to deprogram what has been conditioned in their mind.

It will not be easy but it is important that you work to restore the relationship you once had with your child. Consult an experienced attorney and mental health professional for assistance during this time.