A postnuptial agreement is a document that a married couple can sign establishing how their financial assets and property will be divided if the marriage ends in separation or divorce. Broaching the topic can be difficult and awkward, so continue reading to learn how to best tell your spouse you want a postnuptial agreement. Speak with an Oakland County family lawyer for more information and advice.
How to Tell My Spouse I Want a Postnuptial Agreement
While every relationship is unique, below are some important steps to take when broaching the subject of a postnuptial agreement.
1. Prepare
Do some research on postnuptial agreements. Ask yourself questions so you understand your own desires and are prepared to answer if and when your spouse asks. Consider what feelings made you look into postnups and why you think it is a good idea.
Rehearsing can also be beneficial. It is easy to misspeak or be misunderstood during big conversations so having certain points you want to get across can help make the discussion run smoothly.
2. Schedule the conversation
While you do not have to send a formal invitation, do not spring the conversation on your spouse. Try to avoid raising the topic if you two are in a fight or during stressful times. Choose a time when you know you do not have to be anywhere and can talk for as long as you need.
3. Share your feelings
That first sentence may be the hardest but it is important that you set the tone for the conversation. Be completely open and honest about your feelings and do not beat around the bush. You may say something like “After considering x, y, and z, I want to explore the possibility of a postnuptial agreement.” Explain how you came to this decision and the fears and concerns you may have.
4. Consider their feelings
Check in on them during this conversation. They are likely feeling confused, angry, upset, etc. Ask them how they are feeling about the situation and anything they may want to share. It can be a lot to take in and think about.
Your partner may want to keep the conversation going by asking questions, sharing their reaction, and discussing the possibility. However, it is okay if you hit a lull in the conversation. In that case, hit the brakes and allow them space to process. You had ample time to prepare and consider the postnup while this is the first time they are hearing about it.
5. Plan another conversation
Give them the space they need to process, whether it be with you as a unit or alone with their own thoughts. They may want to talk to family or friends, weigh their options, or ask you more questions. Set a general day or time to pick the conversation back up once they have had time to consider it.